De-Stress with Sex
By: Sonya Reed, MMFT-C Master Level Counseling Intern
Master of Marriage & Family Therapy - Candidate
At some point during these last 2 months, the world has become increasingly stressed. It’s that time of the year when you can feel the heaviness of preparing for the holidays. Knowingly or unknowingly, there is a consistent spike in your cortisol levels. As your mind goes into overdrive preparing for the little and big voices you will encounter this holiday season, we often forget to find de-stressors that can aid in maintaining mental sanity during this time.
Often negating the connectedness embraced in a time of uncertainty can benefit the survival of one of the highest stressed times of the year. As the year comes to a hasty close, the holidays are typically a time of happiness, love, laughter, and food for most people. For others, the holidays come crashing in like a wrecking ball filled with grief, worry, and tension caused by situations surrounding work, life, love, and family. For those of us in intimate partner relationships who may often experience the “grinchy” side of the holidays, our lives become overwhelmed and often stressed, which may lead to a lack of sexual intimacy for our partners. Ideally, stress is like a ticker that keeps the mind in motion, thinking and overthinking various challenges, threats, or situations we have encountered. When the mind is overwhelmed, often, the body responds in negative ways with a rise in blood pressure, erectile dysfunction, or a lowered libido. As stress continues, it will increase your likelihood of several diseases that affect your mental and physical health. For individuals in relationships, stress can cause them to want to be alone, lack proper nutrition, and utilize and/or abuse substances.
So now, a rhetorical question for you.. are you Stressed? Well, when is the last time you’ve had sex?
During a time of high stress, we often forget the art of sexual intimacy, either alone or with another person. We don’t prioritize the fact that engaging in the act of sex releases endorphins, thus decreasing cortisol levels in the body. While sex releases endorphins through the eventual release of a climatic orgasm, the intimacy of trying to obtain an orgasm increases your oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine levels. The weird sensation of feeling butterflies in the pit of your stomach, the warm feeling of your partner’s gaze that feels like an eternity, and the “afterglow” are all remnants of a decrease in cortisol levels in the body. The outlasting of the impact of the orgasm will resonate with some for the day and others for up to a week. Some would argue that sexual intimacy would be one of the other reasons for the season.
You can enter this season with intentionality for yourself or your intimate partner in several ways. There is more to pleasure and increasing sexual desire than pursuing the usual of experimenting with new lingerie, toys, bedroom fantasies, etc. Sexual intimacy can also involve text messages that remind your partner you’re thinking of them, reading or writing your own short stories of erotica, or even to the extent of individualized or mutual masturbation. The notion of sexual desire is what drives you, me, and others to the climactic high of an orgasm. Being “beautiful in the moment,” whether alone or with an intimate partner, is nurturing to our mental stability. We desire to be wanted as humans, and during this time of the year, I charge you to turn it up a notch in the bedroom. Begin the day with sex or end the day with sex…either way, it’s the perfect way for you to create a more balanced, well-rested, and motivated YOU!
Learn More about Sonya HERE. You can book a Discovery Call with Sonya HERE.