Grief has a way of reshaping the landscape of your life. It opens cracks where you didn’t know you were fragile and stretches the heart in ways you never asked for. I have sat with many clients in their own grief—through loss, anticipatory grief, trauma, and heartbreak, but nothing truly prepares you for your own.

Three years ago, my family received the words no one is ever ready to hear:

“It’s stage 4 metastatic bone cancer. There is no cure without a miracle.”

They gave my mother two years.
My mom: brave, spiritual, strong. Gave us three.

During that time, I was still mothering three children, two of whom are neurodivergent. I was managing a business, supporting clients, and trying to hold space every day with empathy and compassion. But inside, I was quietly unraveling.

I carried intense anticipatory grief, chronic stress, overwhelming anxiety, and the heavy awareness that I was about to lose my last living parent. My father passed away when I was 21. Approaching 40, I knew I was entering a season I never wanted to face: becoming parentless.

Balancing motherhood, neurodivergent parenting, business ownership, clinical work, and caregiving while grieving a loss that hadn’t even happened yet felt like carrying a mountain inside my chest.

And yet, even in my unraveling, I also knew what I needed.

As a Brainspotting therapist and LENS Neurofeedback provider, I had tools within reach. Tools that would end up supporting me and my family in the deeply human, deeply painful journey of caregiving, grief, and healing.

During my mother’s final six weeks, I had the sacred privilege of being her hospice support. It was holy, heartbreaking, beautiful, and devastating all at once. And throughout it, I leaned into the very therapies I offer others today.

How Brainspotting Held Me When I Was Breaking

I engaged in Brainspotting therapy for myself one to two times a month. Often more when the emotions felt overwhelming.

Brainspotting helped me:

• Move through the anticipatory grief that lived in my chest
• Release the emotional pressure from caregiving and daily life
• Sit with the fear of becoming parentless
• Make space for sadness rather than shutting down
• Process the tidal wave of grief after her passing
• Honor my emotions without being consumed by them

Brainspotting reaches the subcortical brain, the place where grief, fear, trauma, and emotional memories are held. It bypasses the thinking mind and connects with the body’s natural ability to process and release.

It didn’t take the pain away.
But it made the pain movable.
It allowed it to breathe instead of suffocate.

It softened what felt unbearable.
It helped me survive what I could not have carried alone.

LENS Neurofeedback Supported My Nervous System — and My Children’s

Alongside Brainspotting, I used LENS Neurofeedback on myself, my siblings, my children, and even for my mother.

For me, LENS provided:

• A weekly nervous system reboot
• Relief from chronic tension
• Emotional steadiness in moments I felt like collapsing
• Reduced anxiety and stress
• Clearer working memory through grief fog
• Improved sleep during endless nights of worry

But one of the greatest gifts was how LENS supported my children.

They, too, were grieving.
They, too, were anxious.
They, too, felt the fear of losing their grandmother.

With neurodivergent nervous systems already working overtime, the emotional load was enormous.
LENS helped them:

• Regulate their emotions
• Release their anxiety
• Sleep more peacefully
• Avoid shutting down or bottling their feelings
• Express what they were feeling instead of carrying it alone
• Find grounding during an overwhelming season

Watching LENS gently support their emotional world made me deeply grateful for this tool. It didn’t remove their grief—but it gave their nervous systems the capacity to feel without becoming overwhelmed.

And in a season where I sometimes felt powerless as a mother, this mattered more than words can express.

Becoming Parentless at 40

Losing my mother wasn’t just the end of her life—it rewrote the shape of mine.

With my father gone since I was 21, her passing meant stepping into a life without the two people who gave me mine. Becoming parentless at 40 brought its own grief—a grief of identity, belonging, safety, and lineage.

Brainspotting and LENS did not erase that pain, but they helped me hold it without collapsing under it. They gave me space to breathe inside the ache. They helped me show up for my clients, my children, my work, and myself—even when everything felt shattered.

Why I Share This Story

I share this as a therapist, yes—but also as a daughter, a mother, a caregiver, a human being who walked through anticipatory grief and loss while still trying to show up for the world.

Grief is not just an emotion.
It is an experience that lives in the body.
It disrupts sleep, memory, mood, and the nervous system.
It overwhelms, isolates, and reshapes.

But you do not have to carry it alone.

Your heart deserves tenderness.
Your nervous system deserves care.
Your grief deserves a place to land.

Brainspotting and LENS Neurofeedback helped me move through grief with softness, resilience, and regulation — not fear, shutdown, or overwhelm. And I offer them because I know firsthand how deeply they can support someone in the hardest chapters of life.

An Invitation to Heal Your Grief With Gentleness

If you are walking through:

• Anticipatory grief
• Parental loss
• Caregiver fatigue
• Emotional overwhelm
• Old grief resurfacing
• Trauma stored in the body

I offer support through:

Grief Intensives (Brainspotting + LENS Neurofeedback)

For deep emotional processing and gentle nervous system regulation.

Brainspotting for Grief

To help your grief move — not stay stuck.

LENS Neurofeedback for Grief & Stress

For emotional balance, clarity, calmer sleep, and a regulated nervous system.

You deserve to grieve in a way that honors your heart, your history, and your humanity.

If you’re ready, I would be honored to walk with you.